Imagine you’re all dolled up, feeling fine and sparkly. You’ve had your hair done, your face is painted on and you have a new frock that fits all your bits where they are.

Full of confidence and bravado, you step out and into the spotlight, with the aim of catching some attention.

And you turn and turn and turn in your frock and your lipsticked smile, and yet no-one asks you to dance.

You’re out there under the bright lights in all your glory but nobody is lookin’ at you.

You might as well be invisible.

I think being ignored is more painful in the long run than rejection. 

Sure, rejection is no fun but it’s a short sharp sting that you can recover from quickly. Being ignored is a pain that can go on, and on, and on.

At least with a rejection someone has checked you out before deciding you are not for them.

When you’re ignored, it’s like you don’t exist or aren’t worthy of even consideration. Irrelevant. Ouch!

When you’re invisible, it’s similar to being ignored. You produce your content, you show up and post, yet nada. Crickets. Silence.

At least if someone is paying attention, even if they turn out to not be into you, you have had the opportunity to find your people. And you are certain to find SOMEONE who likes you and what you have to say (Donald Trump is an obvious case in point).

Remember this point the next time you hesitate to post something. You have to ask people to dance with you. So post the invitation – publish the opinion piece, the video, the selfie that says ‘hey you!’. Some people will scroll past. But someone else is bound to click on you instead.

If you’re spinning in the spotlight but no-one’s paying attention, then you have to march right on over to the first person you see and ask them to dance yourself!

They may say no but at least they’ll have seen you.

Even if you turn out to be not the right dance partner for them, they may know someone who is and mention you to THAT person.


So how do you ask people to dance with you?

Do a Visibility audit first. Go over the communication channels you use and see how often you’re showing up.

Blog posts
Email newsletters
In person events
Any others?

How often are you there?
How consistent are you?
And importantly, how effective have they been – where are you being noticed the most, (the least), and why do you think that is?

Are your posts passive? Or do you ask the audience to dance?

That is, do you:

  • Give an opinion they may or may not agree with?
  • Do you ask for their opinion or input?
  • Do you make a clear statement of purpose in your post?
  • Do you share an interesting story?

Now go to your most popular channel and post something that asks your audience to dance – that is, post something that asks them to engage in some way – give an opinion or agree or disagree with you, provide an alternative.

As they say, it takes two to tango.